Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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