Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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