About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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