Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
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I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
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It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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