This is not my ceiling
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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