That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize