I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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