Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
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Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
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If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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