so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
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This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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