I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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