I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize