I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize