My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize