well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize