All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize