Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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