I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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