either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize