she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize