You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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