I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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