just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize