Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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