Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize