I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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