omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Randomize