Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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