I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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