you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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