maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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