Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize