On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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