yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize