um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize