Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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