she looked like the before picture.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize