just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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