I want to stick my p in your. b.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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