why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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