it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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