I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize