Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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