I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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