Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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