Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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