you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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