btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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