Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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