piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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