im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize